cheers, Wisconsinite.

Me, neither. That’s it in a nutshell. Great statement!

When I start talking about my teenage years, my daughter laughs and says, “Yeah, back ‘the day’”…..

So, back in “the day”, I thought that I was invincible, like most teenagers. I could shove things in my mouth, snort things in my nose, drink any and all types of alcohol and feel OK by noon the next day. We took it for granted, didn’t we? So, now, we are “crybabies”.
I WANT/NEED that fix…whatever it might be. Being bipolar and ADD, I am required to take some meds (if I don’t want to lose everyone around me). But, that’s just not good enough. I want that immediate fix. The fix that kicks in RIGHT NOW!
Being older, and hopefully wise, I know that the fix that I want is not what I need. What I need has to come from inside me. But, I just can’t seem to pull it out.
Ya see…I’m an addict, too. I’m addicted to the easy way out. The way out that comes from ingesting something/anything.
I don’t want to be an addict. Who does? I just can’t seem to find my way out of it. No street drugs. Not that I wouldn’t take them if I had them. No, I run and get my fixes from a pusher with a MD after his name. But, I won’t lie to myself. Addiction is addiction no matter where you go or how you feed it.

Recovery is a constant process. Recovery is that ONE day that you get through without popping that pill. Recovery is, as D. Estitue said so eloquently, “the realization that I won’t ever get a medal for tying my shoes in the morning” but still trying to.

I am TPB aka UM aka an unquiet mind.

But, I am, also, the 4 chicks that blog. OK…this might not be making sense. TPB/UM is one person (me). But, I am only one part of the whole. Without the other 3 bipolar chicks, I would not/could not be TPB.
It’s a long story. Got time? Well, pull up a chair and I’ll try to make sense.

Several years ago, I was a total wreck…a bigger mess than usual. I needed help badly. Not from a doctor but from “real” people. Long story short….I joined a mental health forum where I met the other 3 BP chicks. We’ve been through a lot…tears, laughter, anger, suicidal thoughts….you name it. I honestly don’t think that I would be here to write if it were not for my very real buddies.
We left the forum and one very smart BP chick (D) talked me into blogging with her. D is really intelligent. AND, she’s blunt and I like that.
D and I set up our own individual blogs, too. Blogs that allowed us to write about stuff totally unrelated to being bipolar. That’s how TPB came about. My other blog is http://www.trailerparkbarbie.wordpress.com

So, even though, I am one person, the other three make me feel like a whole unit.
Hope that makes sense.

I like your blog very much. People NEED to know that real people (their neighbors, their co-workers, their children’s teachers or PTA members, etc) suffer from mental disorders and addictions. I hope that you keep it up…writing about addiction. If we can get one person to read and relate, we’ve really done something wonderful.

TPB/UM/BP Chicks Blogging